Tag Archives: Death
The real purpose behind the Art of Living Happy is helping people to find and harness happiness in their lives – not just in the average day or when things are going well, but when everything is falling apart. Finding the means to create your own happiness is most important when things are at their worst – it is the truest test of your happiness.
If you don’t know my story, I lost my husband Ian after a seven-year battle with cancer. He was 44, and I was 37.
It was the most difficult part of my life, and I struggled to find any kind of happiness. Only by connecting to my own inner wisdom and seeking divine guidance (daily) was I able to find just enough happiness to keep me going.
One of the hardest parts of the whole process was how most people treated Ian during his final few months of life. The phenomenon is called avoidance – when even friends and loved ones are too uncomfortable with the prospect of death, they avoid the subject, and with it, avoid the person who is nearing the end of their life.
Death is scary. No one likes to talk about it. No one likes to deal with it. Yet this seems absurd because every last one of us will someday meet our end, and perhaps even more important to realize: it’s safe to assume that all of us will have to deal with the loss of a loved one at some point in our lives.
I came across this video featuring the wonderful Stephen Garrett, author of When Death Speaks: Listen, Learn, and Love, and it’s a fitting description of how many people clam up when it comes to confronting the death of a loved one, as well as some great advice on how families can overcome this fear.
The video is less than four minutes long – and is worth every second. I highly recommend you watch it.
The lesson Stephen imparts, simply put, is this: when you know that someone is dying, don’t avoid them! Embrace them and ask what you can do for them! Confronting the scary topic of death is only a matter of facing the fear holding you back.
When we can overcome this fear, we can share our love and support with a loved one as they approach the end of life. We can reminisce happily, offer comforts, make the necessary plans to ease the process and settle affairs, and above all, spend quality time with our dying loved ones that isn’t shrouded by unspoken discomfort.
It is only after we step through the door of fear that we can learn our greatest lessons and offer our greatest gifts.
I’d love to hear about the ways you’ve dealt with loss and death in your life. Leave me a comment so we can continue to learn and grow together.
Love and blessings,
Another interview where I share my visit to heaven! I was given a glorious view of heaven just minutes before my husband passed away – it was a life changing experience for me. Being raised very religiously, I was deeply concerned that he would be going to hell, not because he was a bad person, but because he had never been baptized. I believe that the angels took me to heaven so I would be able to know that he was going to be okay in his afterlife, as well as to share the experience with others to reassure them that their loved ones are okay too.
It changed the path of my life – I was a certified public accountant and now I channel people’s angel (I like to say that I’m still a CPA) instead! Two years before my husband’s death, a friend took me for an angel reading (and I was skeptical as most people would be), but when I had it done, something just clicked inside of me that made me really want to learn how to do this for myself. I bought a book called AngelSpeake, and have been honing my skills for years. I now teach people how to do this for themselves, as I believe that everybody has the ability within themselves to connect to their angels; it’s just a matter of practicing. My three steps are 1)to prepare, 2)then ask, and 3)listen.
We are always receiving information from spirit – you can call it intuition, your gut feelings or as I do – you can call it your angels. You just need to listen to it! Everybody has their own path, it’s merely about tuning into that and listening to it, and that will make your life so much better!
Saturday, October 13, 2012
9:30 am – 5:00 pm
2701 Summer Street Stamford, CT
Founder, Roland M. Comtois
This event is open to the public and is FREE!!
Join me, Lisa Jones, at Roland Comtois’ 6th Annual After Loss Conference. I’ll be giving blessings to you from Spirit. You are not alone!
Happiness is learning how to talk to your angels. This is my thought, anyway. If it weren’t for my angels, I don’t know if I would have survived my first husband, Ian’s, seven year battle with lymphoma cancer and his ultimate death at the age of 44, in early 2004 – I was 37.
The idea of talking to my angels was introduced to me by Alice Tice, a sweet nurturing person who I had gone to see for a massage soon after my husband had been diagnosed in the spring of 1997.
(Wow! As I was sitting here writing this blog, I was trying to remember Alice’s name – it’s been 12 years since I’ve had contact with her – then BAM it just popped into my head. I was able to verified her name by looking at the Reiki certificate I received from her – thanks Angels!!!)
Anyway, as I was getting my massage with Alice I broke down in tears and confessed to her about my plight with Ian. She tenderly wiped the tears from my eyes and said, “Well, you better start asking your angels for help.” Her statement broke the tension in the room, as I nervously snickered about her comment and maybe even rolled my eyes – I thought she was talking crazy talk! Alice went on to tell me how she talks to her angels for help with everything in her life, even for small items, like helping her to find front row parking places and how she asks the angels to cloak her car when she is speeding.
That’s when I started to really listen to what she was saying. My whole life, even as a child, I’ve had a sixth sense about police cars being around the next bend, holding a radar gun. As I’m driving, or with someone in a car, I’ll suddenly think, “There’s a police car around.” Sure enough, every time I get that feeling I begin to slow down and lo and behold there is the police car! I had never given this phenomenon much thought until Alice was talking about angels. Maybe Angels were whispering in my ear and giving me this information.
After this enlightening conversation I was eager to try out talking with my new found friends – my angels. I was flabbergasted! I lived in a town where getting a parking spot is almost impossible. As soon as I would ask for a front row space, I’d drive around the corner and there would be someone backing out of a spot – right in the front row. I really couldn’t believe it, but I did continue to ask for their help for both big and small issues. I also didn’t mention this to most people, as I still thought it was a little crazy.
Fast forward five years to when Ian’s cancer started to get really bad again. I went to lunch with my friend, Lisa. (The same friend whose husband also died from cancer two weeks after Ian, and then months later introduced me to – David Jones, the love of my life and my current husband – the man that took over her husband’s job as the local golf pro. Read more about that here.)
Lisa suggested that we go down the street to Touch of Sedona, a new age store in town, to have an Angel reading done. Even though I had been asking my Angels for help with the issues of my life this Angel reading blew me out of the water. I asked her how she talked to the Angels and she recommended the book: Angelspeake: How to Talk With Your Angels I purchased the book and my life has never been the same – in a very, very good way. During the last two years of Ian’s life, I would take time to sit and listen to my angels and write down what they had to say, they were always so supportive and helpful.
Here is an entry from my journal on February 21, 2004:
Dear Angels, Will Ian be able to help me tell the children about his upcoming death?
Yes, be calm and relax, Ian will be able to have a moment where he is lucid and caring and compassionate toward his children – he has finally accepted his fate but still has some unfinished business to attend to – like talking with his children. Do not despair Lisa, Ian is on a path of greater good and happiness.
His earthly body will be left behind and he will never be in pain or have to suffer again. And yes, he will still be a part of your everyday life. He will live on within you – the only thing you won’t have is his physical presence, though you may even feel that at times. There is just so much that the human life form doesn’t understand and yet if we were to try to explain it to you it would be overwhelming and inconceivable – so its best just not to go there.
We are with you, Lisa, we are with Ian – he is surrounded by love and graciousness. When he is done with his tasks, which will be soon, he will be ready to take the first step into his next journey. Lisa, now is the time to take care of yourself. Be there for Ian, but he has a lot of people helping him now, both earthly and otherwise. So time to lay down and get some rest and be ready for what tomorrow brings. We love you, Your Angels.
Ian died the next day.
Angelspeake: How to Talk With Your Angels is a very well written life transforming book. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and working with Trudy Giswold at one of her seminars. Trudy is a down to earth, compassionate, loving person. She explains in the book, which was written by her and her sister (who has since passed away), that the Angels came to them in their sleep and asked them to believe and to write a book so that people could connect with their angels.
On page 17 of the book, “You may ask, ‘Why would anyone want to talk to their angels?’ In learning this process of connecting with your angels you will also learn of the many dimensions of love and support that are available to you. You are a spiritual being currently having a physical experience on earth. This book has been written to teach you to communicate with your angels through writing, in order to reconnect your spiritual and physical selves.”
I also recommend:
The Angelspeake Book Of Prayer And Healing
I really enjoyed this book as it took you to the next level of communicating with your angels after reading their first book. There are many first hand stories about people talking to their angels – which was instructive and interesting reading. Trudy and Barbara also did an excellent job of explaining how prayers work – and sometimes why are prayers aren’t answered. This book “will help you create a new level of intimacy with your angels culminating in a lasting, healing, and personal union.” page 21
The art of living after the death of a loved one is quite challenging, to say the least. I lost my husband, Ian Sharpe at the age of 44. He died after a seven year battle with lymphoma. His struggle included three stem cell transplants, a one month hospital stay at Sloan Kettering Hospital in NYC, and a seven month visit to the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Care Alliance in Seattle, Washington. Our family lived in a Marriott Residence Inn for the entire seven months!
Ian did have a four year remission in the middle of his battle, which allowed some time for creating lasting memories as a family. Vacations at Disney World, attending Camp Sacramento – near Lake Tahoe in California, and the opportunity to coach Jenna and Robbie’s soccer teams were all enjoyed. Unfortunately night sweats, fevers and weight loss crept back into our lives while celebrating our ten year wedding anniversary in Bermuda. I knew at that moment that we were going to have a bad ending…
When Ian succumbed to death on February 22, 2004, I realized I was relieved. I was relieved for him – his fight was long, painful and arduous. I was also relieved for myself – I hate to admit it – but I was. The task of caring for the dying is difficult and all consuming.
My mother arrived in Connecticut the day after his death and stayed with me for a couple of weeks. I couldn’t eat, sleep or breath. I was truly happy for him, as the pain and agony were over. I was terrified for myself, I was alone with two kids – 8 and 10 years old. We then all flew to Minnesota and stayed at my mom’s for a week. It was nice to be away from the house. It was comforting to be taken care of. Our final week away, we went on a cruise to the Caribbean. It was a family affair, as my brother’s family and my mom and her husband attended. Being on the ocean, in warm breezes and surrounded by people that both loved and cared for me (my family) and by people that had no clue what had just happened to me was cleansing and refreshing. It was nice to get away.
The scariest part was returning home to an empty house. Opening the door would make it real – Ian not being there would be proof that he died and it was only me and the kids now. It was dreadful. But, I did it. I stepped over that threshold and didn’t look back. I made the decision that life would go on and that I needed to take charge. Of course, I had my sad times and my fits of rage and frustration for being left here on this earth. I kept myself busy with positive activities. I took up Pilates and bought new clothes – I had been living in sweat pants for the two years before Ian died! I met my friends for lunch even had my house Feng Shuied (an ancient Chinese art of arranging your possessions for positive life results). The Feng Shui changed my life – many more blogs about that in the future!!!
It is now many years later, and I’ve never been happier. I’ve remarried and my amazing, fabulous husband, David, adopted my children. Ironically he always wanted children, but never wanted to do the baby thing – and he always wanted a son names Robert – yes my son’s name is Robert! I’m also thrilled, as I am now pursuing my life long dream of helping others to achieve their happiness in life.
Losing a loved one is awful – but if you keep moving forward, while always remembering your loved one in your heart, and allowing their whispers of advice to guide your way, life can be even sweeter and happier – I guarantee it.
Love and Blessings! – Lisa